Focus
on What You Need!
"The secret to happiness, is to focus on what
you need!”
Diane Faist, Dianergy
At first glance, this ‘focus
on what you need’ mentality sounds very selfish and greedy. However,
it is actually the exact opposite. Some of us are people pleasers, putting the
needs of others above our own needs over and over and over. And while that may
sound humble or idealistic, it is actually a recipe for exhaustion, frustration
and sickness.
Yes, there are times when we all
go out of our way for another on occasion — which is lovely. And that is
honorable to say the least. But if dropping your internal focus and serving
others regardless how you feel becomes a chronic pattern, it is
destructive on so many levels. And you will pay a toll, a large one.
Speaking from a lifetime of people
pleasing behaviors, I now realize that no one really benefitted. We were
all pretty miserable. My lack of self-care, resulted in my inability to help
others as I desired. Plus, much more than I wanted to realize at the time –– I
became dependent on those closest to me for my own basic needs and happiness.
Yikes!!!
Now is the time to make a
priority and a habit out of quiet time with yourself. Maybe you meditate daily,
which is awesome. But I find I also need more quality “me” time. One of
my favorite ways to spend me-time is in nature. I am also a fan of
visualizations and using instrumental music (I’m experimenting with ‘study
music’ playlists), So, close your eyes and take some deep breaths… Dig
deep, ask those powerful questions. Why am I here? What do I really want in my
personal life? My free time? My relationships? My education/career? My
creativity? Listen to those quiet loving answers you receive. Start small and
build over time if that is easier for you. The answers may come fast, or more
likely will come over time. The magic is to dream big, listen and have faith.
I’m rooting for you!
— Diane
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